Every single day I have one of those moments.
Yesterday I took the 3yo and the 5yo for their checkups with their awesome dentist. After they were all checked out, I stopped by the receptionist and she said, "Okay! Let's schedule the next appointment in September!" Holy cats. I was practically in tears. We use this awesome dentist for all of us, even though he is out of our network. His staff is conscientious, he is kind, and totally understanding that although I have had three unmedicated births, I am totally a big whiny baby in the dentist's chair. Unfortunately, I spend a lot of time there due to genetics and my homestead that had a well (un-flourided water, natch).
Every day I drop off at Playhouse (our nursery school) I see one of the directors with a sobbing child at the "goodbye window." I walk through the halls of the school that have helped raise every one of my kiddos and my heart breaks that Lucy won't have our planned three years here.
Every day I am confronted by the fact that I need to leave my midwives, my pediatrician, my dentist, my own GP (who helped me out during a bad spot of PPD), my dry-cleaners, my favorite bagel place that doesn't balk when I order a toasted bagel with cream cheese and bacon. My favorite toy store, that I can't pop in and out of since I need to have a thirty minute conversation with the owners about great Miyazaki movies and how they need to have more Totoro merchandise, because I will buy it all.
I have bitched and moaned about how hard it is for me to leave my friends. How do I move away from a three-year-old that calls Lucy "her favorite friend?" But every day I am confronted by practical and everyday changes that I need to deal with. Finding a new pediatrician, a new dentist, a new ob/gyn provider that didn't deliver any of my kids. How do I leave the Turtleback Zoo? My beloved Playhouse, that Lucy needs two mores years of? Even Mothers and More doesn't exist in LA.
Sigh. Bummer.
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