A Very Serious Scientific Question.

We've had a couple interested parties lately, but nothing much. And yet! We stay positive.

When we get the house ready to show, there are certain things we need to do. Tidy, tidy, tidy, vacuum, windex, scrub, swiffer more than you could ever imagine. Remove every bit of personal effects. (We currently have no family photos in our house, other than a vintage photo from 1971 of my mom, brother and I tacked up on our bulletin board.) I was told by my stager that when people look at our house, they want to imagine their life unfolding in the house. They don't want to try and figure out who is the family that currently lives here. Hence, no pictures, no books, no artwork.

But.

There is one thing that remains in our house that could actually give a bit of information about our family. Can you guess?

It's the magazine rack in our bathroom.

When we first moved in, we really needed to do some work on our (really large!) full bathroom. The previous owners installed beadboard and a chair rail (gorgeous, and period appropriate) and above that, they tore up pieces of plastic wallpaper, and layered in over the bead board, and then sponge painted it to bring out the texture of the lovingly-ripped-up wallpaper. You remember, this was 2004, and Trading Spaces was huge.

We spent a lot of money to get a bunch of guys of suspect immigration status to rip out the wallpaper, fix the walls, and repaint it a nice light blue. We also went to Restoration Hardware and bought fantastically expensive pulls for the drawers, back plates for the lightswitches and plugs, and towel bars, hooks and a magazine rack. Yes, we spent $12 on a drawer pull (shudder, Loretta!) but we had expected to stay here for 20 years. I was going to use that pull to access my Q-Tips for the next 20 years!

Anyhoo, we tamped down the DIY and got the bathroom to a lovely, usable state. We've bathed our kids in that tub more times then I can tell. Luckily I have photos!

But, let's get back to the magazine rack. It's the one thing that wasn't styled by our stager. She just left it bulging with periodicals.

So! I am stumped when I get the house ready for a showimg. I can't have a picture of my family in the house, but I can subconsciously let the folks who are looking at the house know that they are Just Like Us with the magazines in the bathroom magazine rack!

Here's my intense psychological theories.

Real Simple. The owners of this house are organized and don't let their children own anything aesthetically unfortunate.

The New York Times Magazine. The owners of the house are kind of intellectual, but not so much that they subscribe to the New Yorker.

Brain, Child. The owners of this house are a man that makes a lot of money and a women who blogs about her kids a lot.

The Oprah Magazine. These owners are suckers for a sob story! Tell them about your bad divorce and get 30k off the asking price!

Comic books: These owners are geeks. You can probably shove them during the closing and get a good break on the price.

Better Homes and Gardens. Mormons.

Racheal Ray's Everyday. Mormons that don't live in Utah.

Rolling Stone. The man of the family thinks he is cooler than he is. (My man, of course, is cooler that anyone can imagine.)

Ready Made. The owners are folks that pine for Brooklyn every day, but moved to the burbs to provide their kids (still breast fed at age 4!) better public schools.

Mad Magazine. This house is being sold by the Brockway and Metcalfs.